Opinion

WATERCOOLER: why should Australia compete in Eurovision?

Guy Sebastian representing Australia performs during the Grand Final of the 60th annual Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) at the Wiener Stadthalle in Vienna, Austria.
Guy Sebastian representing Australia performs during the Grand Final of the 60th annual Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) at the Wiener Stadthalle in Vienna, Austria. GEORG HOCHMUTH

I HAVE it on good authority that Australia will be represented in the Eurovision song contest next year. Which is fine, but a little confusing. We're not part of Europe. Not even close.

Sure, it was nice when they invited us last year and we sent little Guy Sebastian along. But it was just a nice piece of public relations. A condescending pat on the head for us being big supporters. "Good on you, you little Aussie battlers," the organisers were saying.

But Guy was never going to win. Imagine how embarrassing it would have been for an Australian to win Europe's premier talent quest. The cream of Europe's entertainment freak scene humbled by an Aussie? Never!

Our presence in Eurovision was sort of like a Fijian ice skating team going to the Winter Olympics. Cute and inspirational, but never a medal hope and just a little sad. Don't get me wrong, I love the event. Where else can you get so many mullets, so much theatre and so many wind machines? And remember the bird with the beard who won it the year before? I love it!

My wife and I watch it every year. Our favourite thing, apart from the on-stage action, is to watch the hilarious live tweets from other viewers.

Should Australia go to Eurovision in 2016

This poll ended on 30 November 2015.

YES - it's fun and we have so much great talent to showcase. - 72%

NO - it's a waste of time and money. - 27%

This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.

For instance, a woman with a beard walks on stage and some wag in Uzbekistan will tweet "Mum! Is that you? You told me you were going to the shop to get milk!"

Or some bird with long hair will be winding up to hit a ridiculously high note and someone will tweet "Cue the wind machine". Then "bingo!", the wind machine invariably cranks up. Eurovision loves wind machines. And mullets.

And there's always some death metal band from Norway or Sweden screaming.

But if Australia is going to be represented next year, who to send? Delta Goodrem would fit perfectly into the schmaltzy Eurovision mould but I can't stand her, so she's out.

What about that Minogue girl?

Not the annoying one. I mean Kylie. Put her in a pair of gold hotpants, whack a bit of facial hair on her and stand her in front of a wind machine - we might actually be a contender.

Look out Eurovision!

We're sending the bearded singing budgie!

Should Australia be taking part in Eurovision and if so, who should Australian send to represent us in 2016?

Join our daily watercooler by leaving a comment below.

Topics:  editors picks entertainment eurovision guy sebastian music watercooler



Would you like to see my boobies?

Masked Booby on Norfolk Island

Local bird photographer in for a Norfolk Island surprise.

Local Partners

How art rescued me from a life on the streets: Ex-miner shares story

Rocky's Ian Painter said he lost everything after a mining accident... he bought some kids pencils and it changed his life


New Year New Yard

Win $1000 Bunnings Voucher
Learn More

Excitement builds over Da Vinci exhibition

Da Vinci Machines is on display at Rockhampton Art Gallery from 18 March until 25 May.

Exhibition features in excess of 60 models of machines

WHAT'S ON: Your guide to events in CQ this weekend

Aussie Shakespeare is a frenetic and good-humoured canter combining classic Shakespearean stories and characters with Australian themes from cyclones to football to the revolving door of federal politics.

Everything you need to know about events in the region

Puppetry of the Penis secrets revealed ahead of show

The famed Puppetry of the Penis is coming to the Sunshine Coast for shows in Noosa and Caloundra.

WARNING: This interview contains adult themes and traces of nuts

Ocean Sleeper discuss being 'Six Feet Down'.

Ocean Sleeper make waves with their new EP. Photo Contributed

Gippsland band shines at Unify

Bowie's final music EP No Plan released

NEW: Artwork for David Bowie's posthumous 2016 EP, No Plan.

David Bowie's 28th and final album

Married At First Sight: Ipswich bachelor seeks love

READY FOR IT: Ipswich man Simon McQuillan will appear on the upcoming new season of Married At First Sight.

Romance would top off recovery for Booval man

Dinky-di Denyer: Family Feud favourite hosts Oz Day party

Grant Denyer will host Channel 10's Australia Day concert from the Sydney Opera House.

GRANT Denyer shares his Australia Day traditions ahead of concert.

Chelsea Handler blames the Kardashians for Donald Trump win

Chelsea Handler pictured in a scene from her talk show in Los Angeles.

TALK show host blames rise of reality TV family for election result.

Law & Order’s Trump inspired episode is still in limbo

The cast of Law & Order: SVU season 18, from left, Kelli Giddish, Raul Esparza, Mariska Hargitay, Ice-T and Peter Scanavino. Supplied by Channel 10.

SHOW'S mastermind unsure if or when twice-delayed episode will air.

Collapsed Coast company could owe up to $5 million

Staff, ATO, landlords among those out of pocket.

Ipswich block of dirt sells for $582 a square metre

JUST SOLD: A property on the Brookwater golf course sold for a record-breaking $612,000.

Property smashed 2007 record by close to $100,000

Sunday auction for historical home

Former Catholic school sure to attract spirited bidding

Looking back, looking ahead in Noosa

NEVER-ENDING GLORY: Looking towards Laguna Bay and Hastings St from Noosa National Park.

Natural appeal of Noosa continues to attract buyers

Thousands of jobs part of $1b retirement village project

THIS YEAR: An artist impression of the new Aveo retirement village in Springfield.

Aveo Springfield unveiled this month, homes ready by July

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!