Business

One weird trick to win the NSW election

CHECK out this one weird trick to beating Labor at elections that the media doesn't want you to hear.

In a 20-minute video outlining his amazing one-time offer to private equity markets, NSW Coalition spokesman Prince Wallet Gonmissin gave no fewer than 45 reasons for why his team should win tomorrow's election.

"I am currently being held hostage by the Chinese Government," Prince Gonmissin said.

"I have enough money to clear all of the NSW state debt and repair your economy.

"But to sneak it out of China I first need your electricity infrastructure as a deposit."

TRUE STORY: NSW voters set to back Baird, upper house too close to call

The Premier's $20 billion infrastructure plan came under attack from the Labor Party after a squabble over which interest rate applied to the last $5 billion portion.

"The Coalition want you to believe asset sales will benefit you, when they'll only benefit their corporate friends," said Labor spokesperson Eli Avterli.

"It has been revealed to our glorious leader the long-hidden truth about the NSW economy.

"You can understand, too, with our series of tapes and weekend retreats."

TRUE STORY: Metgasco unhappy with tactics by all sides of politics

The Brisbane Institute's NSW IT expert Haxxor URMhz420 revealed a security breach may have compromised the online voting platform used for early voting.

"Our systems have det-ected a virus on the comp-uter you used to lodge your vote," they said.

"As part of your vendor's certified anti-virus team, we are authorised to offer you our repair software at a discount.

"We require you to download our software and enter your credit card details to move ahead and remove the virus.

"For an additional fee we can abolish local councils."

TRUE STORY: Coalition calls Foley's China worries racism 

Notices: 

Can those who support the Data Retention scheme passed through Parliament this week please forward their browser history, passwords and credit card details to kieran.salsone@apn.com.au.

Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. 

Topics:  asset sales, election, frisky business, infrastructure, nsw election 2015, satire, scam



DANCE FESTIVAL: Thursday, September 22 results

Rockhampton Dance Festival Vicki Davis Academy of Dance and Performing Arts classical ballet group 9 years and under.Photo Tamara MacKenzie / The Morning Bulletin

Results of the first day of competition

LETTER: Adrenaline options around Mount Archer

INPUT IMPORTANT: Rockhampton Regional Council plans   to redevelop Fraser Park as part of the wider Mount Archer Activation Plan.

You have expressed great enthusiasm for a wild ride on Mount Archer.

Spring Garden Spectacular winners have a blooming lovely view

FANTASTIC FLORA: Jim and Margaret Barnard were awarded the Best View From the Street prize in the Spring Garden Spectacular.

Gardening has proved the perfect retirement hobby

Local Partners

John Mayer's advice for Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes has revealed John Mayer gave him advice

Josh Brolin and Kathryn Boyd tie the knot

Josh Bolin marries in front of close friends and family

Marilyn Manson wants a 'nice' girl

Marilyn Manson wants a girl who understands both of his identities

Five things to do these school holidays

Watch Rapidfire International Inc's production of Alice in Wonderland at the Gladstone Entertainment Convention Centre this month.

Check out these must do's for the kids on holidays

Angelina turns to Depp for consolation after divorce

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie with their six children

Angelina Jolie is reportedly being consoled by Johnny Depp

Rockhampton dancer en pointe for European stages

CENTRE STAGE: Anastasia Lewis has moved from Rockhampton to Sydney to study classical ballet.

Rocky dancer believes competitions are the perfect preparation

Projects hoped to revive Rockhampton real estate

There have been just over 800 house sales in Rockhampton this year

Property 200m from ocean selling for just over $100K

BEACHCOMBER PARK: Work has started on a new $19.2 million development at Toogoom.

The estate's developer is offering huge discounts for early buyers.

UPDATE: Former rodeo champ's sale rained out, now back on

Larkhill local Ken Consiglio is having an auction of most of the things on his property.

'People kept showing up and we had to turn them away'

First stages of $25 million housing development underway

New development on Madsen Rd - The Springs.

The blocks of land are much bigger than usual

14% of renovators doing own electrical work?

Landscaping (46%), demolition (43%) and interior design (77%) are also often tackled head on by plucky homeowners.

And 12% said they did their own plumbing work

Couple build their own 'tiny house' for $45k

Holly Bowen and Oli Bucher built their "tiny house" themselves, only hiring a plumber and an electrician. Photo/supplied

The house, which is built on a trailer and can be towed.