Business

One weird trick to win the NSW election

CHECK out this one weird trick to beating Labor at elections that the media doesn't want you to hear.

In a 20-minute video outlining his amazing one-time offer to private equity markets, NSW Coalition spokesman Prince Wallet Gonmissin gave no fewer than 45 reasons for why his team should win tomorrow's election.

"I am currently being held hostage by the Chinese Government," Prince Gonmissin said.

"I have enough money to clear all of the NSW state debt and repair your economy.

"But to sneak it out of China I first need your electricity infrastructure as a deposit."

TRUE STORY: NSW voters set to back Baird, upper house too close to call

The Premier's $20 billion infrastructure plan came under attack from the Labor Party after a squabble over which interest rate applied to the last $5 billion portion.

"The Coalition want you to believe asset sales will benefit you, when they'll only benefit their corporate friends," said Labor spokesperson Eli Avterli.

"It has been revealed to our glorious leader the long-hidden truth about the NSW economy.

"You can understand, too, with our series of tapes and weekend retreats."

TRUE STORY: Metgasco unhappy with tactics by all sides of politics

The Brisbane Institute's NSW IT expert Haxxor URMhz420 revealed a security breach may have compromised the online voting platform used for early voting.

"Our systems have det-ected a virus on the comp-uter you used to lodge your vote," they said.

"As part of your vendor's certified anti-virus team, we are authorised to offer you our repair software at a discount.

"We require you to download our software and enter your credit card details to move ahead and remove the virus.

"For an additional fee we can abolish local councils."

TRUE STORY: Coalition calls Foley's China worries racism 

Notices: 

Can those who support the Data Retention scheme passed through Parliament this week please forward their browser history, passwords and credit card details to kieran.salsone@apn.com.au.

Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. 

Topics:  asset sales, election, frisky business, infrastructure, nsw election 2015, satire, scam




Jupiter and Venus in closest encounter for 50 years

Even with a small telescope the heaven will reveal plenty of their mysteries.

most people will be able to see with the naked eye

The Beatle Boys are 'Fabulous'

The World's premier Beatles band presents the Beatles No1's at the Pilbeam Theatre on Saturday September 3.

The Fabulous Beatle Boys bring magic to Pilbeam Theatre next month

1500 in attendance at Gold and Coal Festival

STRIKING GOLD: Lachlan Millar, MP for Gregory, Mayor Anne Baker and Cr Dale Appleton.

Crowds gathered to attend Clermont's Gold and Coal Festival

Latest deals and offers

John Krasinski has better sex now he's in good shape

John Krasinski says there's at least one good reason to get jacked

Kanye West gets 'free reign' at VMAs

Kanye West has been let off the leash for the VMAs

Robbie Williams sings at manager's funeral

Robbie Williams and Lamar sang at the funeral of their manager

Twice as much Troy will please country music lovers

CATCH HIM WHILE YOU CAN: Singer Troy Cassar-Daley plans to take some time off to spend with family next year.

TROY Cassar-Daley is releasing a new album and book.

Courtney Stodden gets Reborn Doll

Courtney Stodden is trying to get over her recent miscarriage

Kate McKinnon 'destitute' before SNL

Kate McKinnon says she can't do anything but act

REVEALED: Pat Rafter's $18m Coast house on the market

Check out the photos of the Coast's most expensive property for sale

The "correction we had to have" in Gladstone's rentals

UPWARD MARCH: The rental vacancy rate in Gladstone has improved for the first time in more than a year, providing a confidence boost in the market.

Vacancy rates improve with signs that things are getting betterF

ISLAND FOR SALE: Cheap Fraser Coast island drops price again

Suna Island in the Great Sandy Strait will be auctioned by Ray White Hervey Bay on Saturday morning.

This is the cheapest island you will find for sale in Australia

How a family home can fit on a 250sq m block

This is what you can build on 250m2.

Here's the floor plan of a home built on 250sq m

$100m plan for Curtis Island 'world class' luxury resort

$100 million resort: Top views at Turtle Street at Curtis Island.

"At the moment we think it meets all the town planning approvals.”

Noosa mayor on "red alert" over planning court decision

Mayor Tony Wellington hands down his first budget.

Mayor upset at lack of say about look and feel of Noosa