Lifestyle

Slush fund puppies bite back

Yaldara Premium Aged Tawny (Aged 7 Years), $20.
Yaldara Premium Aged Tawny (Aged 7 Years), $20.

LOOK, this brouhaha over the AWU (Australian Winewriters' Union) is out of hand.

Of course there's a slush fund.

That's our entire raison d'etre - a cute French phrase superior wine snobs trot out when teasing Melbourne commuters and opposition philistines, both of whom wouldn't want the French here in the first place, but that's another story.

The real issue is whether the slush fund is legal and did the PM do anything illegal.

Of course slush is legal. What's wrong with taking a few dollars from the lowest paid unionists and spending it on fine wines, food, home renovations and brothels?

If it's good enough for the Health Services Union, it's appropriate for the Winewriters' Union.

If anyone should be researching the true value of Grange, surely it is our executive. It's another of our raisons d'etres.

To those Coalition types who take great delight in highlighting how awful unions are compared to capitalist corporations (which is their raison d'etre) we promise to reimburse it …as soon as our funds are reimbursed as unsecured creditors of Bond Corp, Skase Corp, HIH Insurance, ABC Learning, Tinkler Incorporated, or the tragically, aptly named Storm Financial et al.

Geez, if we are guilty of anything it's our terrible investments.

But did the PM do anything illegal?

Although we were boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, I can't remember if she set up the slushie, however I'm sure she didn't read or sign anything, she had minions do that, their raison d'etre.

In any case, given the size of our slush fund and the rate at which we dipped into it, it's a wonder anyone can remember anything from the 90s.

Again, this is the raison d'etre of slush funds isn't it? And who didn't have one in the 90s?

Anyway, a royal commission's time would be better spent chasing real crooks such as former Labor ministers, a few church ministers and perhaps looking at why people don't know how to indicate at roundabouts.

After all that is their right royal raison d'etre.

Gosh, all this talk of slush and raisons makes one awfully thirsty, so time to dip into the local fund, which just happens to have a few raisins of its own .

 

Yaldara Premium Aged Tawny (Aged 7 Years), $20

Fortifieds are making a comeback, but summer is a difficult match, unless you have ice, or better yet, ice cream. 8.2/10.

Cockburn's Late Bottled Vintage Port 2006, $27

Proper port from proper Porto in Portugal so it's allowed to be called that. How porty can you get? The real deal tastes just as you would expect. 8.7/10, extra points for being my first Port port.

Gapsted Fragolino, NV $19

Wow! What weird stuff you can find when you dig deep enough into the PMs background or your own slush fund. Amazing colour and amazing flavour, have it on a slush puppie. 9/10.

Topper's Mountain Vintage Touriga 2009, $25

Longer legs than Julie Bishop's memory of phone conversations, this is more concentrated red wine than fortified, but at 20 per cent it's fighting in that weight division. 8.9/10

Adinfern Ruby Forte 2008, $21 (on special)

Another more red-wine like than something from the old country or the 60s, but absolutely delicious. Have it with a royal commission. 9/10.

(All Saints) St Leonards Classic Muscat, $22

Another weapon in the arsenal of the fortified fightback so if you're looking for a raison for raisin, dessert is now the rage. 8.6/10.

 

>> To read more lifestyle stories

Topics:  alcohol, lifestyle, wine



Monster trucks a smash hit with Rocky

Scooby Doo impresses crowds at Monster Trucks.

Check out the action and social photos here

What's flowering in Central Queensland?

Schotia brachypetala

One is a creeper called Petrea volubilis

Compulsory Third Party Insurer Obligations

Narelle Clark is a Senior Solicitor at local law firm Rees R & Sydney Jones.

A CTP Insurer is legally obliged to cover you

Local Partners

Bonus point gets Dan and Carleen over the line on The Block

Dan and Carleen in their winning living and dining rooms in a scene from The Block.

BABY boomers win living and dining week as show hits halfway mark.

Olivia Wilde having a girl

Olivia Wilde revealed she is expecting a baby girl.

Michael Palin: Terry Jones dementia is 'painful' to see

Michael Palin has found Terry Jones' decline "painful to watch"

Daniel Radcliffe hoped for haircut anonymity

Radcliffe thought shaving his head would make him more anonymous

Jim Carrey slams 'shameful greed' of lawsuit

Jim Carrey has slammed the "shameful greed" of White's ex-husband.

'Highly unlikely' Brad Pitt will face prosecution

It is highly unlikely that Brad Pitt will be prosecuted

Projects hoped to revive Rockhampton real estate

There have been just over 800 house sales in Rockhampton this year

Property 200m from ocean selling for just over $100K

BEACHCOMBER PARK: Work has started on a new $19.2 million development at Toogoom.

The estate's developer is offering huge discounts for early buyers.

UPDATE: Former rodeo champ's sale rained out, now back on

Larkhill local Ken Consiglio is having an auction of most of the things on his property.

'People kept showing up and we had to turn them away'

First stages of $25 million housing development underway

New development on Madsen Rd - The Springs.

The blocks of land are much bigger than usual

14% of renovators doing own electrical work?

Landscaping (46%), demolition (43%) and interior design (77%) are also often tackled head on by plucky homeowners.

And 12% said they did their own plumbing work

Couple build their own 'tiny house' for $45k

Holly Bowen and Oli Bucher built their "tiny house" themselves, only hiring a plumber and an electrician. Photo/supplied

The house, which is built on a trailer and can be towed.