Adopted and rejected

A North Coast family speak about their experience with adoption.
A North Coast family speak about their experience with adoption. Cathy Adams

IT was supposed to be a joyous reunion.

Instead the mother who was forced decades earlier to give up a Kyogle man, who asked not to be identified, rejected her son a second time.

Then, 10 years later when he tried again, his biological mother went for the hat-trick.

It is now two years since the man, who is now 37, last tried to connect with his biological mother and he is still reeling from the trauma of her rejection.

"When I found my (biological) mother some years ago she didn't want to know me," the man said.

"It doesn't make me feel good. I feel like a bit of a black sheep that none of her family want to meet me or talk to me."

While he did manage to speak to his biological grandmother after his adoptive sister made a phone call, he believes to this day that his grandmother had a hand in his mother giving him up for adoption.

"It's pretty heartbreaking and its taking its toll on me," he said.

"Just being rejected as a young fellow and still being rejected now. It affects my relationships. It affects everything."

The man and his adoptive parents want more services in regional areas to help adopted children cope with the trauma that comes with searching for biological family.

The adoptive father and mother said their son's experience over the years in firstly searching for his biological mother, then being rejected by that family, has had a tremendous effect on his wellbeing and ability to form relationships.

The man's adoptive mother said the rejection had left him "emotionally crippled by his circumstances".

And that was why she was so passionate about the need for services to help adoptive children come to terms with their situation.

The adoptive mother said she had done everything she could to learn about services and facilities available for adopted children on the Northern Rivers, but they were few and far between.

"I would like for children like my son to be acknowledged. They've been to hell and back in many ways," she said.

"I want counselling, help, something for them. And if they want to find their families, funds to help them do that."

Topics:  adoption child mother parents reunion

Capricornia's weather update and spectacular weather footage

SPECTACULAR FOOTAGE: Rockhampton was lit up last night by some amazing lightning.

See the fantastic lightning footage and read our weather update.

Undercover police cars swarm in raid at Port Curtis address

Five police cars converged on a Port Curtis this morning

A quiet Port Curtis Street became a hive of police activity.

Coach urges debutants to take opportunity with both hands

Capras coach Kim Williams: "I'm hoping they can really push their case for selection.”

Capras primed for second trial against Townsville Blackhawks

Local Partners

Cancer fighter back to smash Samson Challenge

NOT only is Janelle kicking Hodgkin's lymphoma, she's also training for this years gruelling fitness event Samson Challenge.

Return to sender

HEAR THE ECHO: The Mountain Story is a metaphor for life in general.

Like a voice echoes in the mountains, in life we get what we give

Tough love day care


Nothing quite like a headbutt in modern child raising

premium_icon Junior sport in Qld becoming too expensive for parents

Zali, 4, and Digby Tidey, 7, check out Aussie rules, at Yeronga football club in Brisbane. Picture: AAP/Claudia Baxter

The cost of junior sport is becoming a growing concern

Don't just dream about it

RELAX: Create an inviting place to retire to at night with a comfortable mattress and quality bedding.

Make your bed a place where dreams are made

Turn over a new leaf

Cordyline leaves background

Turn over a new leaf

Never a good idea to reopen the ex files

DON'T GO THERE: Sudden contact from an ex is a recipe for trouble.

Dear guy I dated 20 years ago: no, I don't want to 'catch up'