Days Like These columnist Haidee Jenkins.
Days Like These columnist Haidee Jenkins. Contributed

Days Like These: The blunders that torment me

SEVERAL faux pas that have occurred throughout my life parade themselves, tormenting my mind occasionally when I wake up through the night.

The day I, as a teenager, was trying to look cool in front of a group of older, popular boys while lighting my cigarette and my unexpectedly highly turned-up lighter set my fringe (hairsprayed to beyond an inch of its life) on fire, and I had to slam my hand on my forehead, screaming in fear.

The day I, again as a teenager, doing my best to keep it cool, walked past a group of cool and popular boys who were sitting on a fence and fell over a tree root in a spectacular manner, my dress flying above my head to reveal my unflattering beige underpants.

The day I went to the shops with Vegemite smeared all over my face, even on my forehead.

The day I jumped into a public pool and my bikini top decided to remove itself and I had to run, hunched over like a tree over a blessed well with my arms crossed against my chest towards the change rooms and, in my panic and horror, ran into the boys' changing room.

The day I went to the shops with a neon pink massive butterfly clip sitting jauntily atop of my head because I had forgotten that Ella had placed it there.

The day I became trapped in a public cubicle and, with no one responding to my cries of help, had to slide like a plank of wood under the very narrow door, my face inches away from the filthy floor.

There's many, many more.

While I was still married, and in these technological times, I unfortunately had to add another to the list.

With my (now ex) husband being away out west and, missing a call from him because I was wolfing down lasagne, with the children I messaged him afterwards. Or so I thought.

It turns out that I accidentally messaged the electrician I had shown through our rental property for a quote, telling him that I thought he was so HOT and couldn't wait to see him again. Awkwardness at its very, very best.



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