‘Disgusting’: MAFS fave’s brutal takedown
A marriage is seemingly destroyed on Tuesday's Married At First Sight all because one guy makes the stupid mistake of repeating the petty complaints another husband made about his own wife.
While this sounds very confusing, all you really need to know is there's a new sasshole in the swamp.
It's a new day, which means there's a new torture tactic disguised as relationship therapy. Welcome to Feedback Week!
Feedback Week is kinda like The Sledge Box challenge except, instead of everyone subtly insulting each other by anonymously writing passive-aggressive questions about sensitive issues, they literally just write very specific insults on a piece of paper and then slip the note under the door of the person they want to offend.
I've already left feedback letters on my colleagues' desks for them to find in the morning. Try it at your own office.
Now, it is Tuesday which means we actually have a better show to watch. Part two of Exposed: The Ghost Train Fire airs at 8.30pm on ABC (catch up on iView) and the investigation is ramping up. Obviously this means the office of journalist Caro Meldrum-Hanna is getting even messier.
Like the general mounds of random stuff in The Cradle Of Filth, the evidence is piling up. What new additions have made their way into The Cradle Of Filth? Joining the toilet roll and the countless cans of Sirena tuna is a tube of Colgate.
And this week's Where's Wally? is a rogue Christmas decoration. Can you spot it?
We leave The Cradle of Filth momentarily to go check on the Married At First Sight science experiments. Things are out of control, but that's not new.
Brett - that hipster who looks like he uses milk crates for furniture - is sick of his wife Booka always crapping on about herself. Frankly, we're sick of Brett's yen for socks and slides, but we're too polite to say anything about it. Instead, we'll notify him of our thoughts via a formal feedback letter, as per this week's challenge.
It's halfway through the experiment and everyone's complaining about each other. It's just so negative. We skip down the hall to go see if Pat and Belinda wanna go get some fresh air.
Hey guys! Wanna get a coff-
You guys seem busy, we'll try again later.
With nothing else to do, we wander aimlessly around the hallways to kill time and run into Jake who - out of the blue - sasses us. Ouch! So uncharacteristic of him. He does look more masculine today, though.
Then The Sasshole appears and - get this - she doesn't snip or snap an inch of sass at us. Something freaky's going on and we don't trust it. She does look particularly pretty today, though.
We head back to Pat and Belinda's joint and stomp really loudly so they hear us coming and hopefully put their clothes back on.
They're in the middle of the Feedback Week task: writing a letter to Brett and Booka filled with criticism.
"You should say something about how he looks like all his furniture's made out of milk crates," we suggest, but Patrick already has this challenge covered.
"I do think Booka is a little self-absorbed sometimes," he says. "Booka is quite centred around Booka's world and she's not really seeing beyond that. Just from what I've heard from Brett, there's not much of her wanting to get to know Brett. From what I've heard, Booka doesn't give Brett much time of the day at all. Her world centres around her. It's just Booka, Booka, Booka."
Well, well, well. Who knew there was another sasshole lurking in the cave?
"Because I'm such good friends with Brett, I feel like I'm in a really good position to help their relationship - because I know all the concerns he has told me," he adds.
Pat is taking all the petty gripes Brett has dished about Booka and is putting them in this letter that Booka will read - and she will instantly know they came from Brett because they're so specific!
This letter will only cause drama. Feelings will be hurt! Words will be blown out of proportion and a solid relationship will be smashed apart. Someone should tear up that letter before producers nab it and slide it under Brett and Booka's door.
Hey, where'd it go? Oh well.
It's 1pm on a Tuesday. Inside the apartment, Brett's eating a kale salad. And Booka's wearing a beret (stop giggling).
This scene was always going to be brutal, but the beret just kicks things up a notch.
Brett unfolds the letter and begins to read. "Booka, we have observed that you are thinking about yourself too much and have the world revolve around you. You spend time telling people how smart you are, how high your IQ is, and how good your band is. Your conversations are too intense, too deep, too dark, too serious. YOLO."
He puts the letter down.
Booka opens her mouth to speak, but then Brett picks the letter back up again because there's, like, three more pages of insults.
"Booka needs to put on an evening that's all about Brett. Booka, you're not allowed to talk about yourself the whole night," he reads.
Booka snatches the pages and examines them closely.
"Did they mention anything about the beret?" we ask softly.
She ignores our question and zones in on one particular sentence of the letter. She recites it slowly, dragging out the words. "You think the world revolves around you."
She asks her husband if he agrees with the harsh statement.
"Yeah. I do."
But Booka refuses to take on board any of this feedback. "That's just untrue. Patrick doesn't know me that well. He has formulated his opinion of me from you."
Ugh, Booka. Are you still talking about yourself? Take the hint! Ask us how we're doing!
"No one has ever said stuff like that about me in my life!" she babbles on.
Annnd, again - we're back to Booka. Conceited, much? It's just non-stop! You're not the only one with problems, Booka.
"It sounds like you just don't like me, Brett," she says. "It sounds like you think I'm pretty repulsive as a person."
But the one thing that upsets her most?
"I'm not allowed to talk about myself at all the whole night!" she frets.
Something tells us she'll find a way.
And she does. In her attempt to create an evening that focuses on getting to know her husband better, she decides to write a passive-aggressive song about him that mocks the task at hand and brings the attention back to her.
Brett isn't impressed. He'd rather spend the night back home, sleeping on his milk crate furniture.
We skip back down the hall towards Pat and Belinda's apartment to congratulate them on their handiwork.
Hey guys! You should've seen it! She was wearing a ber-
Oh come on! Lock your door!
Originally published as 'Disgusting': MAFS fave's brutal takedown