Eddie McGuire squirms as sex life mocked
EDDIE McGuire's Channel 9 colleagues made sure his stint hosting The Footy Show got off to an uncomfortable start on Thursday night as they made light of his sex life.
The skit was in response to the Collingwood president's announcement this week he will sue Facebook over a fake story that claimed he had erectile dysfunction.
A web page, mocked up to resemble an article in GQ magazine, emerged on social media featuring the broadcaster pushing a product called "TryVexan" - allegedly a similar product to Viagra.
McGuire dismissed the article as total fiction - a point he made again during The Footy Show - but that didn't stop panellists Sam Newman and Billy Brownless having their fun at his expense.
Newman donned a white lab coat and assumed the role of scientist as he pretended to concoct a fictitious substance designed to help McGuire's love life.
"Are you alright with this?" Newman asked.
"No I'm not," McGuire responded. "We're going to go after Facebook and the people who have perpetrated this lie and embarrassed me."
Cue some predictable below the belt puns from Newman and Brownless.
Then Newman continued the charade, mixing "rhinoceros horn" and "oyster sauce" together before telling another X-rated gag about life in the bedroom that left McGuire with his head in his hands.
Next up into the mixing bowl was some (again, obviously fake) "sweat from (Collingwood coach) Nathan Buckley's armpit" and "hair follicles plucked from the heads of the 2010 Collingwood premiership team".
McGuire didn't find the gag as funny as his colleagues and he looked uncomfortable before closing on a serious note.
"I'm telling you seriously it's out of line, it's complete bogus ... I'm not supporting this at all and we are taking legal action," he said.
We've decided not to publish the specifics of Newman's jokes but if that's what you're into, you can check out the whole segment on The Footy Show's Twitter account here. Be warned though, some of his cracks contain graphic content.
It may only be a small consolation but McGuire wasn't the only Footy Show panel member whose love life was a topic of discussion. Newman also took it upon himself to talk to West Coast premiership winner Chris Judd after his wife Rebecca revealed she used soppy love songs to keep the romance alive in their marriage.
"Apparently if she's not feeling like she's in the mood she gets a couple of these songs on and that does the trick," Judd said. "I'm not sure why she'd need any help when she's got this (himself) in the bedroom, but apparently she does.
"It's more of a pre-game rev-up.
"It was news to me when she went with it live on radio last week so it's good to see her opening up a bit to the public."