Brutal advice for husband wanting open marriage
HAVING a baby is a hard time for many couples. There's the sleepless nights, various sore body parts, and mourning the life you once knew before your new amazing little person came along.
It's just as trying for dads as it is for the women.
But in one case, we're just not sure ...
One new dad has written into Slate.com's Dear Prudence for advice and we just can't find an iota of sympathy for this *insert sarcasm here* poor, deprived man.
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"I want to ask her if I can open the relationship"
The new dad explained that he had been with his wife for eight years and married for three. While he does love his wife, he is no longer 'in love' with her, nor is he attracted to her physically.
"Our relationship is more like two roommates who share parenting duties," he wrote. "She is my best friend, and I love her like a sister."
He does not want a divorce, but simply to "open the relationship" as if it was a regular old can of beans.
Clearly a man of equal opportunities, he explained that if it did happen, he would "be happy to let her date as well".
He asked author, Mallory Ortberg for her advice on how to broach the topic with the mother of his child while sparing her feelings.
"I love her and I want to be happy, and even though I'm no longer attracted to her, I want us to continue to be a family," he wrote.
We're all wondering whether he honestly thinks he will get some 'help' with this one ... well, we're kinda wondering whether he was really thinking full stop!
"Your confession will result in a divorce"
Saying what we're all thinking, Ortberg responds by explaining that there is unlikely to be ANY way in which ANY loving wife would be OK with the news that their husband sees them as a sister and wants to look elsewhere for a romantic and sexual connection.
And let's not forget that this woman has just had a baby. Is this really the best time to spring such a ridiculous request on a new mum, when the hormones are running on overdrive and sleep is a very limited commodity? (Short answer: no.)
Ever the realist, Ortberg wrote, "Whatever you ultimately decide to share with her, I think you should be realistic about the odds that your confession will result in a divorce, whether you want it to or not."
She went on to explain that the early days with a new baby isn't always the "most exciting, sexy time in a relationship," predicting that if the man were to keep his impulses to himself, he may later feel relieved to have not shared these feelings with his wife.
Sure, by all means have an honest conversation, but maybe now is not the best time to ask for an open relationship if the man wants any hope of playing happy families.
Because let's be real. In those first few heady weeks of motherhood, what you really need are foot rubs, hot cups of tea and as many naps as you can possibly fit in a day ... Not your partner telling you he'd rather be having sex with someone else.
This story originally appeared on kidspot and is republished with permission.