Claudia Baxter

READERS DISCUSSION: Nagging - is it domestic violence?

A LETTER to the Editor published in The Bulletin this week questioned what was classified as domestic violence and the difference between men and women's behaviours.

"There was a domestic violence day at the Rockhampton Library before Christmas where you could talk one-on-one with specialists.

I asked the lady if verbal abuse was a form of domestic violence, and why nagging wasn't classed as domestic violence."

The Bulletin asked readers via Facebook: Do you think the terms of domestic violence is one-sided?

Sharron Payne - Wow! That is seriously ridiculous! If nagging is domestic violence then every household in the world is in this category! Nagging is sometimes the only way to get somebody to do that thing you've been asking them to do for ages! If you start classing nagging as domestic violence you suddenly take away the severity of domestic violence!

Polly Reed - Verbal abuse and nagging are NOT the same thing. Verbal abuse can be just as damaging in different ways to physical abuse.

Trish Kelly - I think the Morning Bulletin has been irresponsible in publishing this ridiculous letter. It's extremely insulting to those in domestic violence situations. I'm not saying that women can't be the perpetrators of verbal or physical violence against their partners, but the situation this writer is describing is entirely out of the realm of domestic violence, especially when he's associating this behaviour with PMT. Ridiculous

Debbie Bryant - I think domestic violence can take many forms. Men are not always the perpetrators sometimes they are the victims. I have personally seen this. My father was a victim of domestic violence and he and we children hid it. We were ashamed and he was ashamed. The consequences of verbal, emotional and psychological violence last a life time. The victim is not the only one to suffer the children in these situations carry these scars for the rest of their lives. I know this because I carry the scars and with the help if a wonderful therapist I faced my past and now I feel nothing but sorrow for my mother. She was a very unhappy woman to behave like she did. I have forgiven her. But please remember that women are also capable of domestic violence. I suspect that it goes unreported because the men are ashamed.

Leigh Mcmaster - If nagging is all that u worry about then u have it easy. Try b in someones shoes that has serious dv problems.
Courteney Lowry - I feel like the two thoughts don't add up. What is your definition of nagging? To me it's repetitively asking someone to complete an activity. "For the seventh time today, take the bin out." Nagging? Yes. DV case? No.
If you start to throw in some blue words to this nagging, then it would definitely fall in to the DV scale, but it would also leave behind the simple definition of nagging.

Also, men nag too, so if nagging isn't counted as a DV case, both sexes are "benefitting" for lack of a better word.

Briony Miller - Nagging can be a form of emotional abuse

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