Lifestyle

Roller derby isn't a sport

I UPSET a colleague last week when I observed that, photogenic as it undoubtedly was, roller derby should not have featured in this newspaper's sports pages.

I upset him more when I offered the opinion that roller derby is at best a crude amusement.

After the initial anger had subsided he invited me to define sport.

That's tricky. I can tell you what I consider to be important sports: football (the real one with the round ball), cricket, the rugby codes, tennis and athletics, but then I am happy to acknowledge that in sport, as in many aspects of life, I am a boring traditionalist.

You will notice that these sports combine finely honed skills, finesse, strategy and guile and to excel at them requires a high degree of strength and fitness. I accept without debate that there are many more activities that deserve to be respected as sports, but which don't hold much interest for me.

Reluctantly I'll admit that basketball counts, although I'll argue long and hard that it is a game invented so those who are freakishly tall and ungainly have something to do during PE.

But I digress. Let's return to the subject of roller derby which my enthusiastic colleague describes as the fastest growing sport in the world. Yeah, right.

As far as I can tell it involves a number of well-built young women in various stages of undress, roller skating with malicious intent. I have no doubt that there is an element of sweaty physicality involved and there might be some tactics employed. But, basically, it looks like an excuse for violence and brutality with a dubious element of perversion thrown in for salacious pleasure.

I concede this spectacle drew a crowd. It's natural that some people were curious and I wouldn't be at all surprised if some strange men went along to ogle the scantily attired participants in the hope that various bouncy bits might fall free of their inadequate harnesses.

In the end I think that there is one guiding principle to clinch the argument. If it involves wearing fishnet stockings then, however sporty the players might appear, they are not taking part in a sport.

Topics:  opinion roller derby league



10 best street art spots to take an Insta selfie

IF YOU are in need of a few trendy new Instagram snaps, then get your phone and selfie-stick ready and head to Brisbane.

Theatre royalty graces Brisbane stage

Don't miss Charles Edwards in this incredible theatre performance.

WHEN acting royalty comes to town, you sit up and take notice.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls…find them on these drives!

The Scenic Rim is just one place nearby that you'll love.

BRISBANE isn’t all bright lights and city slickers.

Your boots are made for walking these tours

Brisbane Greeters tours are a great way to learn the local history of the city.

YOU don’t need a bike or bus for a seriously good tour of Brisbane.

Discover Brisbane’s laneway gems

Brisbane's laneways will surprise you.

NOT all of Brisbane City is as it seems…

Drink where the cool kids do this summer

There are a bunch of new bars open in Brisbane, make sure you're there!

CHECK out these new funky bars.

Science Festival seriously awesome

Don't miss the World Science Festival Brisbane!

CALLING everyone who wants to see something totally cool.

When can I get NBN: Finally website will tell you

For the first time, you will be able to find out.

Watch: Police dog too quick for Rocky thief on the run

Police inspector Adam Muir at a press conference in Rockhampton.

Barking mad crim took on a police dog

REVEALED: Rocky region's best performing property suburbs

Check out the suburbs selling well in Rockhampton.

New NAB report shows CQ's top real estate areas

Local Partners

Kimmel roasts Damon at Oscars

Oscars 2017: Live Coverage of the 89th Academy Awards.

Oscars guest’s shocking wardrobe malfunction

Blanca Blanco arrives for the 89th annual Academy Awards ceremony at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, USA, 26 February 2017.

ACTRESS suffers X-rated wardrobe malfunction.

Star style at the Oscars 2017 red carpet

Nicole Kidman arrives at the Oscars on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.

Oscars 2017: Red Carpet Dresses and Outfits — Best Dressed Celebs.

Married At First Sight couple flouts the rules

Sean and Susan in a scene from Married At First Sight.

ONE couple is openly flouting the rules of Married At First Sight.

The one film that could beat La La Land

Mahershala Ali and Alex R Hibbert in a scene from the movie Moonlight.

OSCARS 2017 predictions: Who will win on the big night?

Actor Bill Paxton has died aged 61

Bill Paxton at the premiere of "Captain Phillips".

American actor and director Bill Paxton has died at 61 due

Theatre royalty graces Brisbane stage

Don't miss Charles Edwards in this incredible theatre performance.

WHEN acting royalty comes to town, you sit up and take notice.

REVEALED: Rocky region's best performing property suburbs

Check out the suburbs selling well in Rockhampton.

New NAB report shows CQ's top real estate areas

Mining homes dive: $600k homes sell for $120k-$300k

18 Yeates Street, Moranbah sold for $135,000 in December, after being repossessed by a bank. The owners bought for $545,000 in August, 2011.

The economy still has two speeds, but with a painful twist

Mackay's property market climbing like a Rocket Man

Renewed confidence in Mackay means more homes are being snapped up by those eager to plant their roots in the region.

There's movement in the real estate sector and it's all positive.

'Why we drove 800km to buy a treehouse with a disco ball'

The new owners have planned a few updates, but will stick with much of the original design.

A couple travelled almost 800km for the home of their dreams.

The trick homeowners are using to buy more properties

Chantelle Subritzky leaves her home each week for Airbnb guests.

Queenslanders are going down this path to help pay their mortgages

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!