Sound effects is life with kids
BECOMING a parent can turn your life from side effects to sound effects.
In your freedom days, also known as being a university student, you could go out partying, and it was only side effects that you had to deal with.
The hangovers, for one thing, after a big night out.
Then there were the side effects of having to cram for exams after not doing enough study during the semester.
Not to mention the poverty side effects of being a uni student, where two-minute noodles were high on the shopping list.
In your parenting days it is sound effects that take over.
Before babies learn to talk, the noises they make, from both ends, let you know what is going on in their little world.
As they get older they might be able to converse more, but it is still the sound effects that tell you the story.
You dish up a meal and there are the sound effects. "Mmms" mean you did good; "eurks" and other choking or fake vomiting sounds are not so good.
Giggling at your choice of (a) outfit, (b) hairstyle, (c) both of the above is never appreciated either.
Take them to a function and the loud sighs are there to constantly remind you they are still bored, long after you told them to stop whining.
Even driving these days for me brings with it some sound effects, with my son making exaggerated speeding and braking noises from the back seat.
Thanks to television our house recently turned into a war zone.
After watching an episode of The A-Team my nine-year-old has spent the past week on a recon mission with an imaginary enemy.
Clutching a Nerf gun, ducking and weaving behind doorways, he would make his way through the house on his mission, with full warfare sound effects along the way.
But all the sound effects in the world are still preferable to silence, because we all know what that means.
When all goes silent, then it is time to worry.
Silence means (a) the kids are missing, (b) the kids are up to something they know you won't be happy about, or (c) you are missing.
So I say prevent silence, and join in with a few sound effects of your own.
Super Mum with Sharyn O'Neill