Make time to work out who you are, and what you like, whether you are single or in a relationship.
Make time to work out who you are, and what you like, whether you are single or in a relationship. Minerva Studio

Take a look at yourself

WHAT do you look like on paper? I don't mean your dating website ad. I mean the real you.

You know, the one who doesn't really like adventure sports, but prefers to be snuggled up in front of My Kitchen Rules, eating chocolate ice cream from the tub.

If you're looking for love, sometimes it can be fun and enlightening to get that stuff down for yourself. Forget "likes bubble baths” or "enjoys motorcycle rides”, blah, blah. Go with honesty and then, at least, you will have a better idea who might be your match. I, myself, added a new title or interest to my personality description this week. Vegan. Sexy, I know. Everyone wants to date a vegan, right? I have some other words down there that don't exactly sound like the kind of thing that is going to have men knocking at the door. Feminist. Greenie. Owner of 37kg labrador that sheds - a lot.

But here's the thing: as we get older we're more likely to have stronger political views and baggage, even of the canine kind. The good news is that we also have far more experience, and skills, and we know who we are.

So while I might have turned into a cheap date - no lobster for me - I am also a skilled cook, a good listener, a moviephile, a drawer of funny caricatures and, I have been told, cute and perky.

For myself, I am satisfied with some of the words that can now be applied to me, but how would I really write a singles ad? "Perky, erudite, feminist commitment-phobe with slobbering lab, coastal getaway, and entire 70s/80s vinyl collection seeks intelligent, kind male with good teeth.”

Got a kind of ring to it, doesn't it? And, I reckon, a heck of a lot better than "Single blonde (I am now) who likes walks on the beach, white wine and adventure sports, looking for man who wants to spoil her.” Yawn, there's about 1000 of those.

So why not give it a go? Even if you're attached. Who are you really? A little self knowledge can go with a lot of self love.

helenhawkes.org



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