Time for mums to dish out advice
IT IS Christmas, time for family get-togethers and for dads to bring out the ol "Dad's jokes''.
There is the standard knock knock joke, the question about whether you were run over by the lawnmower because you had your hair cut or even the old "pull my finger''.
And thanks to the good old Christmas bon-bons Dads will now have even more bad jokes to tell for the next few weeks after Christmas.
But what about mum's advice?
There are standard words of advice mums all over the world offer their children, both wanted and unwanted, but given with best intentions.
We have all said things like cover your mouth when you cough or don't talk with your mouth full.
But there are many more little gems of wisdom we mums pass on to our children.
Things like how many children in third world countries who would love to have all those vegetables you are screwing your nose up at.
The older I get the more things I see in random strangers that I wish a mum would have given them advice on.
Fellow mums, we should join forces and offer gems of advice to all those obviously so desperately in need.
Here are a few examples:
Son, pull your pants up, your jocks are showing. If you are happy to show off your jocks, at least wear good clean new ones.
Basic physics means there is no way your car is ever going to fit into that parking space, no matter how long you hold up traffic for.
If you bought that top / dress / jeans at least one size bigger it would be so much more flattering.
Patterned tops and printed pants just don't work together - ever.
Not everyone wants to hear your phone conversation while we are all standing in the same queue.
When applying make-up, less is best, and blending foundation along the jawline looks so much better.
But the best advice I have to give this Christmas is to give thanks for all your blessings.
I give thanks for my wonderful family and friends, my mum for all her good advice (and her home made plum pudding) and my dad and all his dad's jokes.
Without them all it is just not Christmas.