WHISPERS: Gossip and funny stories from around Toowoomba and beyond.
WHISPERS: Gossip and funny stories from around Toowoomba and beyond.

This Toowoomba toddler is years before her time

RIPE OLD AGE OF ONE

IT SEEMS it isn't too hard to tell when you've perhaps left off having children a little long.

First up, you head to the doctor and they declare your pregnancy "geriatric" if you're a mother over 35.

Well, that's insulting, but hey, you're only as old as you feel, right?

But then, next thing you know, the baby turns into a toddler and hits the mimic stage.

One "geriatric" Toowoomba mother was both amused and aghast recently to see her toddler laboriously picking toys up off the floor, putting them on the bench and then picking them up off the bench and putting them back on the floor.

With every stoop and stretch, the little mimic was emitting a groan you might expect from a 70-year-old farmer with lumbar issues.

Here's hoping her first sentence isn't "you kids get off my lawn" or "back in my day…"

LOVELY LYRICS

CALL it the lunar effect or perhaps just a ridiculous taste in music but ear worms (those songs that get stuck in your head for days) have been a thing this week.

One poor lass this week was told, in no uncertain terms and on multiple occasions, to never quit her day job after Queen's Bicycle Race got firmly wedged in her frontal lobe.

For those unfamiliar with the tune, it's essentially an almost-three minute song with the repetitive desire to "ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle".

After a day and a half, the bicycle ditty was replaced by the same band's tribute to the wireless with Radio Ga Ga.

Lass's colleague, a Queen fan, remarked rather forlornly the worst thing about the singing was the realisation of the band's peculiar lyrics.

CHUCKING OUT OLD SHIRTS

IN THE past week a city worker lost half his office-friendly clothes to the mischievous ways of a cheeky toddler.

It started on Tuesday when the man exited his bedroom, dressed and ready for work, only to have the toddler projectile vomit half-digested milk across the lounge room and down the front of the worker.

Somehow, despite the velocity of the curdled milk, the toddler remained clean … but the worker was not so lucky.

The second ruination occurred sometime later, but was not discovered until early Friday.

Evidence suggested the toddler emptied a bottle of baby oil into the clothes hamper, staining everything therein.

The stains survived the spin cycle and were only discovered when the worker was getting dressed in what he thought were fresh shirts.

The love for the child remains, but the shirts are stuffed.

COLD SHOWER

THESE cold mornings across the Downs have most struggling to make their way to work.

One lass of North Toowoomba rose to find her car's windscreen covered in ice one day this week and set about applying the cold water bucket to remove the frozen substance.

She had already started the engine and all was going well, until she reached in and turned on the windscreen wipers to flick off the water and icicles.

Of course, standing next to the driver's side door wasn't the best idea as the freezing water and ice was flicked off the windscreen wiper all over her.

PAINFUL RIVALRY

RIVALRY can be a good thing, but only for the youngsters, or so it seems.

Colleagues have long engaged in bouts of friendly ribbing and rivalry, especially in an unofficial workplace competition of selling the most.

It's generally pretty friendly until one of the pair, who often trails the other but still tries their hardest, did the jig of happiness with the thought they'd gotten ahead.

However, the colleague was a bit concerned at her rival's impromptu celebratory jig. Being in advancing age it was feared he'd do a hip.

Whispers urges said competitor to tone down the dance moves lest the hip pain return.
 



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